dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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