hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
