I'd wear matching sweaters with you
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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