The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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