i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
