yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
