hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
