tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Everything about him screamed your future.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
