there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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