Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
