Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
