you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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