I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
