you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
