i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize