Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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