I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize