just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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