I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
