I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
