Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
