the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize