Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize