Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
