About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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