he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
