you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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