i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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