Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
