Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize