More tranny stories later!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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