Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
