do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
