Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
