What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
