I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
