Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
