All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
