Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
