4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
