i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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