Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I need water and some morals
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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