i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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