Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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