we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
sex in a hospital.. check
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
