omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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