Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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