So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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