Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
