Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love having hate sex.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
