Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
