therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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