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Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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