My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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