I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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