And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
