Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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