covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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