Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize