are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
