This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
