You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
