i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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