Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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