the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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