you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
