fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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