when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
