Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
